How Persuasion Shapes Great Hospitality
One of my favorite books was introduced to me in college by a professor.
Influence by Robert Cialdini.
I first read it through a university lens.
Later, through a corporate data analytics lens while working at a mortgage company.
And now, through an entrepreneurial hospitality lens.
It’s surprising how the same ideas shift depending on the season of life you are in.
Here is what those principles look like through a hospitality lens:
Reciprocity: How generosity creates loyalty
Cialdini’s idea:
When someone gives first, people naturally want to give back.
In hospitality, this shows up as:
• A handwritten welcome note
• A small local treat on arrival
• A complimentary drink or snack
• A surprise late checkout or early check-in
Guests who feel cared for tend to:
– Leave better reviews
– Respect the space
– Return again
As for me, when I see a host, hotel, or restaurant show care through a thoughtful gesture, it always leaves a lasting, pleasant impression. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Commitment & consistency: How trust creates return guests
Cialdini’s idea:
Once people make a commitment, they feel internal pressure to stay consistent with that choice.
In hospitality, the “commitment” often happens during the first great stay.
When a guest has an experience that feels right, their brain records it as a decision: this place works, this place is safe, this is what I like.
Once that happens, the mind looks for consistency.
Choosing the same hotel again feels aligned.
Searching for a new one feels like unnecessary risk.
My parents loved returning to the same hotel over and over, and when I was little, I didn’t understand it. Back then, exploring a new hotel every time felt like adventure.
They were making a different kind of choice: committing to a place where they already felt known and cared for.
Now I see myself doing the same thing. I often have to push myself to try a new restaurant or cafe, because the familiar feels safer.
Social proof: How other guests sell the stay for you
Cialdini’s idea:
People look to others to guide their decisions.
In hospitality:
• Real guest photos instead of only professional ones
• Highlighted guest stories
• Handwritten guest journals
• Social media reposts from guests
We trust other people and their experiences.
For example, I use tools like the Elfsight widget to bring Airbnb reviews to our direct booking and personal websites, highlighting the experiences our guests have had with us.
Authority: How systems create trust
Cialdini’s idea:
People trust structure, clarity, and expertise.
In hospitality:
• Clear house guides
• Calm, confident communication from hosts
• Consistent design
• Simple, reliable systems
Guests relax when they feel the experience is in capable hands.
Liking: How hosts become part of the experience
Cialdini’s idea:
People say yes to people they like.
In hospitality:
• A short host story in the welcome book
• Why you created the space
• What inspired the design
• A personal message instead of generic automation
Guests connect with people before they connect with buildings.
I have hundreds of saved homes and designs for the future. Beautiful cabins. Interesting furniture. Striking spaces.
But do I remember the names of most of them?
Usually, no.
The moments I do remember a name are different.
It’s when I get to experience the founder’s story.
When I learn who they are, how they think, and what they built through their work.
If that story touches me in some way, I carry it with me. I talk about it. I share it.
And it comes back to me in random conversations, long after I’ve forgotten the walls.
Scarcity: How rarity increases value
Cialdini’s idea:
What feels limited feels more valuable.
In hospitality:
• Limited unit count
• Seasonal bookings
• Weekend-only experiences
• Curated, non-repeatable experiences
Sometimes scarcity comes in different shapes or forms. We’ve all seen “this week only” or “only 3 rooms left.” It has worked on me many times, and it works on others too.
Unity: How belonging changes us
Cialdini’s later-added idea:
People trust what feels like “us.”
In hospitality:
• Return guest perks
• Private guest communities
• Shared fire pit experiences with hosts
• Guest books filled with stories from other people
The strongest stays create belonging and connection. We’re quite tribal, aren’t we? :)
Thank you for reading my newsletter and following along. I appreciate it.
Wishing you a beautiful Thanksgiving.
Till next week, dear readers.
p.s. Yesterday, we visited Mayfield Park, with lots of peacocks, and explored Laguna Gloria Contemporary Art space in Austin, Texas.
Highly recommend if or when you’re in Austin. Here are some pictures.
